What is Bipolar Disorder?

'Bipolar Disorder, also known as Manic-Depressive Illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity-levels and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder are severe. They are different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar Disorder symptoms can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But Bipolar Disorder can be treated , and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.' - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) 

Bipolar Disorder is an Organic Brain Disease AKA Organic Brain Syndrome or Organic Brain Disorder. It is also called Manic-Depressive Illness.

It is categorized as a serious mental illness. 

'Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme changes in mood, from mania to depression. But because the pattern of highs and lows varies for each person, bipolar disorder is a complex disease to diagnose.' - Web MD

Hello. I am Bipolar. If you meet me on the 'right day' you might really like me. I can be charming and fun to be around. I laugh loud and smile big. I seem to glow with self-security. I  feel great...and it shows. Sometimes it shows so much that people might think I'm conceited. Honestly I could possibly be conceited at that moment, yes.... but I wouldn't describe myself as a conceited person. In fact, sometimes I can't even describe myself as a confident person...nonetheless vain...because in an hour, a couple of days or maybe even a week:

I could be a completely different person.

When I am not on medication I feel:

Irritable. Restless. Bored. Talkative. Anxious. Driven. Ambitious. Risky. Impulsive. Agitated. Violent. Angry. Sad. Empty. Depressed. Anhedonic. Worthless. Lonely. Confused. 

Anti-Social. Fatigued. Energetic. Confident. Insecure. Numb. Distant. Overwhelmed. Nothing...

And trust me.  It's almost impossible for me to tell you when and where I feel these things. Even though at times I feel mostly 'normal', the majority of the time it seems my head is so full of racing thoughts that I cannot even fathom how to straighten my thoughts out and make sense of anything. And there are also many times where my head is SO empty that I can't think of anything no matter how hard I try. The moments where I suddenly don't believe I have any substance in my head at all, anymore. Empty.

I swing back and forth, constantly, on what feels like a pendulum from Hell, and although exciting at times : it will always end up swinging straight into chaos. I will stop eating, start breaking things, become violent. I can start crying uncontrollably, start but never fully-finish a million things, overreact for the smallest things but become much too impulsive and quick to decide about what should usually require deep thought... less you possibly end up in a ditch you dug yourself...

'Bipolar is not fun and nothing to joke about. All highs come with lows.

All Bipolars come with extremes.'

Bipolar is something that us, the people diagnosed, have to accept as part of ourselves. It doesn't define us, no. But it is an illness that will not just leave. We need to at least admit that we are sick before we can seek medicine and help in order to get better. It can take years upon years to find the right medicinal cocktail/lifestyle to help keep us where we are 'most-comfortable' 'fully-functionable' and at our 'utmost.' We need to stay informed on our diagnosis and help our loved ones to be informed.  

Bipolar can be treated with long-term care, but anyone who is sick needs a support system: Strength. Loved Ones. Medicine, and the determination to see a better day.

But don't forget my fellow bipolar bears: 

Our loved ones need us just as much as we need them.